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Last night, once I arrived home, was the first night in literally weeks that I did not have some sort of deadline within 24-48 hours that I was panicking to meet.
With that, I finally let my mind just release.
And with that, I had problems focusing or thinking about anything deeper that staring at the television for the rest of the night.
Well, I shouldn't oversimplify. I played a few rounds of Tanks on Wii Play before Amy commandeered the television.
The sociology exam yesterday went as well as could be expected, but once again it wore me out over the two hours of writing. After that exam, I had to write a lecture and teach for my World class at Kent. Well, I wrote a slick little powerpoint on Cuba and Puerto Rico that I was going to use, but then computer problems eliminated that prospect. That's three Powerpoints that have been eliminated by crappy computers.
So, I taught the class off the top of my head, and did okay... but my lesson was definitely a little sloppier than usual. The kids were also anxious to leave, and I can't blame them for that. It was the day before Spring Break.
As for me today, I feel nicely rested. I slept in a spell (to about 7:15) and woke up slowly. My mind isn't the bowl of spaghetti that it was last night. Even still, I'm groggy because it's one of those marvelous NE Ohio days where, even though the sun has (in theory) been up for an hour or more, you can't tell by looking outside because of the rain. That said, I'm trying to figure out a cost/benefit relationship for the prospect of going to work today.
The only event of any sort today is going to be my aging class, which the instructor said was completely optional. Many people in the department that I normally shoot shit with on my looser Fridays (Jose, Dorris, Mary) have headed home for break. At the same time, my poor sociology professor was practically begging people to come to class today (so maybe there's a treat beyond making her happy?) and I could get a fair bit of work done with no one there to bother me.
But is it better than mindlessly playing Tanks for like six hours? I'm not sure. I've already started to feel a little guilty about not doing any work last night. You get in that mindset when you work nearly all of the waking hours of your day. Being worthless today would certainly multiply this feeling. What I don't want, though, is to allow myself to get used to feeling worthless. When I fail to feel guilty about not working, that's when I turn into a blob.
I want to get shit done over spring break.
I probably will go to work, because I'm a pussy. Maybe while I'm there, I'll get my working agenda set out for the break and know exactly what I want to accompiish so I can have goals. I also want to fix the car, buy a dryer, and maybe (maybe) a vacuum depending upon how things work out. Hopefully the car will be cheap, because it all hinges on that.
My gender sociology prof, for whom I took the long test yesterday, asked me if something was wrong in my life right now. According to her, my work is not up to my standards (which it's really not) and she was worried. When I told her my workload, she suggested that I do a little work over break, but that I enjoy the rest of it. She's a PhD, so she's been there before.
Not gonna happen, though.
Knowing what last night felt like, the utter relaxation of letting my mind unwind if only for a few hours, I'd rather work through break, try to get my proposal mostly done this semester, and then really unwind a little later on.
Posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood DJ on March 23, 2007 07:13 AM | Permalink
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