Radio Free Akron: Conspiracies (radio edit)

I originally wrote this post yesterday, and it was brought to my attention that it was pretty harsh on Amy. This was certainly never my intent with the post or with anything else. It simply didn't read like I intended. So, this is the better version.

Another way-too-short weekend is over. Again. The weekend was typified by three things: a little random shopping, mostly for groceries and whatnot, most of an evening over at Kory and Amy's house, and a bunch of stupid work. Yes, I managed to take a little time that wasn't obsessed with work, and I feel better for it, because time with Amy, Kory and Amy-and-Kory-Amy is always refreshing... even though that means I still have a lecture and a half to write for this week.

Just becuase it was refreshing doesn't make me want to go back to work any more, though.

Of course, by spending (nearly all of) my waking minutes working on school and work, I've neglected my share of the housework, which is pissing Amy off something awful, and rightly so. It's always been at least the jobs of both of us to keep things up, but I haven't been holding up my end, which dumps it on her.

I'd be pissed, too.

We also can't come to terms on the idea of Kody, our latest foster dog, joining the family permanently. He's a boxer-terrier like Charley who acts and behaves like Charley, and we all know that Charley is like the best dog ever. I think he's a great dog, but I don't want to keep him because our resources are limited enough as it is. Amy begs to differ, obviously... and somehow this will play out positively, I hope.

I could (potentially) have a little bit of a break this week if I can get my shit accomplished. I could have time off on Tuesday and Friday nights (my only nights out of class), if I can write two more lectures for the week tonight. Luckily, my Africa class tonight gets to watch a video, while my world class takes a test. That means possible work time, and a slight chance of leaving campus before dark to enjoy the little bit of sun that's out.

There's still no progress on the whole finding-the-wallet thing. I've been looking online at what it will take to replace it. In order to get a Flashcard (Kent State ID, which is also a library card and something I'll desperately need next week), I need to have a picture ID. In order to get a picture ID (driver's license), I have to have a social security card, which was also in my wallet. In order to get a new social security card, I have to have a photo ID.

See the problem here? Hooray for "homeland security." Some dumbass who actually legitimately loses his ID has to jump through hoops. No doubt, a skilled terrorist with Photoshop will not jump through these hoops.

God Bless America.....

Something I had a hunch about but was unable/unwilling to check until now: you know that Pepsi commercial on TV where the guy is riding a pinball into a stadium? Well, the song playing during that commercial is "Ca Plane Pour Moi" by The Presidents of the United States of America. The POTUSA didn't write the song, though, as I remembered it was a cover. Turns out, it was a cover of a song by Plastic Bertrand of the same name, which loosely (it's French slang) translated means something like "That's life for me" or "Everything's great for me."

But that's not where the story (nor my hunch) ends. As I remembered, the music is the same instrumental basis as a song by Elton Motello called "Jet Boy, Jet Girl." (Here's where my investigation begins) Elton Motello is a long forgotten new wave singer who, on "Jet Boy, Jet Girl" had backup musicians that later formed Plastic Bertrand, and used the music with different lyrics (the "Ca Plane Pour Moi" lyrics). BUT.... here's the good part, and the completion of my hunch, "Jet Boy, Jet Girl," the original song on which the Pepsi commercial is based, has lyrics detailing the experience of one man giving head from another.

Which ironically is exactly what I think about when I drink the nastyness known as Pepsi.

Also from the corporate world is the fact that our sweeper sucks. It's a Eureka Altima, a yellow thing that looks like it could suck the fake grass off of Astroturf. We bought it back in September, and a couple months back the rotational axis of the brushbar basically melted onto itself. It took forever, but I found a new one online for the 2961 model (from vacuums247.com) to order for like $25. We got the package in the mail and it didn't fit at all. Of course, Vacuums247.com is shady as hell and wouldn't return repeated e-mails and phone calls (what kind of business has only voicemail?) for a return or refund.

We put the brushbar back in, after tearing off the end, and it worked again for a while. Now, it's about shot totally, and (after looking again) I can't find any site (including the entry on Vacuums247) that sells a brush for this. I even tried Eureka's website, and it said that no such part exists for sale.

I figure this is what's up: we bought the fucking thing at Wal-Mart, which is always a mistake. But, being (in theory) smart consumers like we were, we knew that vacuums featured as the "Opening Price Point" - the ones on the endcap prominently displayed and for supercheap prices - would be the best prices in town, since they're manufactured in bulk, bought in bulk, and sold at or below cost. Economy of scale, jeeves.

Well, it seems that Eureka has decided that their "Opening Price Point" model with have a nice little piece of built-in obselescence. The brush bar will wear out after about four months and have no way to be replaced, so we'll have to buy a different sweeper. We might get an old Kirby (like old) from the used furniture joint down the street. They have a lifetime warranty, you know.

I really wanted to go to a basketball game last night... the big rivalry, Akron vs. Kent State. Two really good mid-level college teams playing late in the season, campuses only eight miles apart, etc. We didn't get to go, but it ended up going to overtime and Kent lost at the last second. And Lebron James was there.

Oh well.

I read a thing today that stupid pro-war car magnet manufacturers are sitting on more than 1 million unwanted magnets. Ha! On ebay, said the article, the anti-war magnets are going for more than five bucks, while the pro-war are only a penny.

I also had a strange experience today at Stark (I'm currently sitting in my office for office hours, working through this long post that got mostly erased the first time I wrote it this morning). As I entered the elevator to ride up to my office, I was flirted with by a fellow adjunct faculty member. This (youngerish) lady (I say "youngerish" because she was probably around my age bracket, which while in most college faculty is more like "infantile," at a regional branch campus adjunct faculty it's just young) saw me standing there uncomfortably, introduced herself by asking if I was indeed a faculty member (including the overly friendly doublehanded handshake), told me about how she teaches Spanish at Stark, and told me that if I needed "anything, anything at all" (her terms, not mine) to track her down in the other adjunct faculty herding trough (my term, not hers).

I forget her name, but that's okay. I don't intend to track her down. Ever.

I've got a girl at home who, even when she's frustrated by my idiocy (like abandoning housework, breaking vacuums, and yes, even when I write unintentionally mean blogs about her) and everything is going terribly, is still better than my wildest imagination of the random elevator girl could ever, ever be. In fact, the girl at home is so much better that I don't even imagine about anyone else!

I love that girl at home a lot, more than she could ever fathom. Why she still tolerates me, I'll never know, but I'm always better for it.

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