Okay, I voted:

Sherrod Brown (D) for Senate for a couple of reasons. First of all, Brown is all about fair trade, keeping jobs and the like. Secondly, Mike DeWine is a Bush puppet, looks incredibly creepy even in his own ads, and his ads against Brown were incredibly nasty from the get-go. Brown won tonight decisively, and may help shift the Senate to the Democrats. Kudos to Ohio.

Ted Strickland (D) for Governor. Ohio just finished up convicting its governor of bribery crimes a few months back, and that governor is Republican. That played out a lot tonight for the Democratic candidates. Also, Strickland is promising big things for education, which directly affects me. His opponent seemed like a nice guy, but his ads went nasty too. Seemed like the GOP was desperate this year, especially in Ohio. Strickland won very decisively. Kudos to Ohio.

Yes on Issue 2, which proposed a raise Ohio's minimum wage to $6.85 with cost-of-living increases annually. Yes, I know the economic arguments for and against minimum wage increases, so don't give me shit. And yes, the only way we'll ever really help people out of poverty is to couple minimum wage increases with extensive socialist programs. But... Amy makes $6.50 right now, and that 35 cents alone is worth 56 bucks a month to us. At this point, it can't hurt us because the hotel can't downsize from one desk person per shift, and even if costs of groceries and things go up a bit, we've got $56 before we feel negative effects. And as of January, Amy will be among those getting a raise since Issue 2 passed. Kudos to Ohio for giving our little family a raise!

No on Issue 3, which proposed the legalization of slot machines with some of the benefits going to education. See, for one thing the act wasn't written clearly enough and was too ambiguous, which is a problem many states (including both Ohio and Indiana) had with lottery funding. Second, Ohio's legislature is lame enough that they would have taken that initiative as an excuse not to fund education at all. Taxpayers need to step-the-fuck-up and pay for public education!!!! Issue 3 was defeated soundly. Kudos to Ohio for not using a cop-out to pay for education by sneaking money from people who can least afford it.

No on Issue 4, Yes on Issue 5. These are coupled. Both limited smoking in public places. Issue 4 was one proposed by the smoking companies as a constitutional amendment which allowed smoking in some restaurants, bars and bowling alleys but no other public place. The kicker was that this was a constitutional amendment which no local or state law could supercede. Issue 5 was a total public indoor smoking ban, but a law not an amendment. Five made more sense, and sayonara smoke, because it passed. Now we can go to bars, not drink and not be surrounded by smoke, I guess... Kudos to Ohio for helping us breathe easier.

I also voted for levies for Akron City Schools, Akron Zoo and Summit County Metroparks. Why? I believe in education and this was the ACSD's third time to try this levy. If it failed, they were going to have to do away with most languages, all extracurricular activities, even (gasp) sports, and that's just shit. I'm also a proud frequent visitor of my city's zoo and Metroparks, which are two amazing resources that have been bringing Akron out of its old economic slump from the 1980s. Kudos to Akron for passing these levies and taking responsibility for making your town great.


Things I couldn't vote for but still cared about:

A couple of other Ohio candidates I personally cared about, and I didn't even live in their district. Why? Because their ads were on constantly on TV. See, we live in the Cleveland market, so we got ads for all kinds of jerk-offs all over NE Ohio. In both of these cases, I sided with the victims. For one, an ad for a state representative seat (yeah, the kinds in Columbus, the lowest level) was negative against Matt Lundy, who I know nothing about but I just found out he is a Democrat from Elyria (which is west of Cleveland by the lake). We were exposed to his ad literally hundreds of times over the past month, which started out with a photo of Lundy in front of a tree carved with "I love tax increases" in a heart, and the annoying condescending voice narrating "Matt Lundy is IN LOVE with tax increases!" It was ridiculous and incredibly childish, but it made me laugh each time because it was so childish. Lundy won, so kudos to you people up in Elyria, whatever kind of place that might be.

The other fun Ohio election ads were those attacking Zach Space. Before this election, I had never heard of Zach Space. The ads said nothing about him except that he loved terrorists, and showed this psuedo-Google-Earth thing showing where his money came from, which was obviously directly from Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, and Satan. The other had a still picture of him with money flying out of his back, making it look like he was shitting money. Intrigued by these ads, I looked up the man a few weeks ago and found that he was a Democrat candidate from New Philadelphia running for a district in Southeast Ohio, and completely outside of the Cleveland television market. How much money was the GOP wasting in Cleveland to have Zach Space shit money on television for people who couldn't vote against him? I looked up the results, and Space won. Kudos to you Southeastern Ohioans.

Notice the Republicans had the most ridiculous ads?

In terms of national elections, the Democrats took over the House, and Pelosi (a woman?!?!?) will be Speaker. I fail to see eye to eye with the Dems completely, but anything has to be an improvement. The Senate is still to be decided. One that was hotly contested was in Tennessee. The Democrat just conceded. But this ad, run against the Democrat candidate Harold Ford Jr. from Tennessee is disturbing. It's so goofy and has some nice racist hints throughout (Ford is black). Strong anti-kudos to the entire state of Tennessee for falling for nonsense like this:

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Four races are left, and the Democrats need three to get control of the Senate. The Dem is winning decisively in Montana, and things are super-tight in Virginia and Missouri. Virginia's looking promising. Kudos to the folks in the Big Sky state, and preliminary kudos to the Commonwealth of Virginia.

The Democrat in Missouri is going to have to do well in the urban votes, as the counties making up St. Louis and Kansas City are the main precincts left and right now the Democrat is behind. This is typically promising for a Democrat, but thus far the candidate's showings in the urban counties is surprisingly low. St. Louis and K.C. are going to have to work hard for their kudos tonight. Mayor-Daley-in-Chicago-in-1960-for-Kennedy tactics are encouraged! Okay! Amazing turnaround! The MSNBC web window "The DEMOCRACY DASHBOARD" as it calls itself just dinged, and now McCaskill (the Missouri Dem) is ahead!

Okay, I just took a look at things. All three Dems in the remaining Senate races are ahead, and only the urban districts remain. "Radio Free Akron" is projecting the Senate to be Democrat, 51-49. You heard it here first. And if I'm wrong? Well, you get what you pay for, jerk.

And in Indiana, perhaps the most surprising news of the night: Indiana is fielding a Democrat congressional district for the first time since the early 1980s. Yep, three incumbent Republican representatives (Chocola, Sodrel, and Hostetler) were unseated in Indiana. That means Indiana's house delegation is 5-4 Democrat. That may be the biggest yet. And stupid fucking Mike Pence, the ultra-conservative rep from the 6th (Muncie's district). An exceptionally surprising round of kudos go to all of Indiana except Muncie. Pull your heads out of your asses, Munsonians!

Wait, who am I talking to again? Oh, Muncie? Convincing them to wise up is about as effective as running an ad showing a candidate shitting money in a market that has none of his voters...