I thought about getting completely wasted and smoking cigarettes tonight.   Amy said I could, and I don't get permission to do that very often.  I may do that tomorrow if my mind doesn't improve.  I'm hoping I just need to relax, and drinking to a stupor and damaging lung tissue will sometimes do the trick.

The good news is, I've got a broken four day weekend.  Nothing Friday, nothing Saturday, Nothing Sunday... a "sosh" exam and a Middle East class on Monday, then nothing on Tuesday.  Of course, Amy works Saturday, Monday and Tuesday, so maybe I'll get relaxation but certainly no recuperation of soul.  She's like a drug that I require to get back to being me in just about every case.

I don't get like this very often, and that is a good thing.  Most people who know me don't recognize me in this shape, and those who have seen it immediately distanced themselves.  I put on a good mask most of the time, so the number is few.  I'm not sure how Amy has tolerated me this week, but then I'm never sure how she deals with me.

Then again, I was thinking that I'd help the Whalers win the Cup in NHL '94 this weekend.  That would piss off Banky in Chasing Amy.  Jason Lee makes me smile, though I wonder if the Earl role is a waste of part of his talent.

I need to do something.  I need to take control of my mind like I normally do.  I don't know, I think my mind is like a car engine.  Yep, bad metaphor time.  See, I can, if I take care of it and maintain it, use it for whatever I want.  With a little ingenuity, I can make it run longer and faster than it ever should.  But, if something breaks down, especially after you've convinced it to do more than it should solely on promises and pipe dreams, you're looking at a hefty repair bill and time out of commission.

This brain is undergoing routine maintenence and will be back shortly.

Unfortunately, unlike cars, I have to suffer through my brain's attempts to repair.  Cars don't feel or think, with the obvious exception of Volkswagen Beetles.

When is it more cost efficient to drop in a new engine, by the way?