 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Don't worry, I didn't drink myself into a "stupor" last night as my exceptionally depressing last post suggested. I had a couple of beers and a couple of peanut butter sandwiches.
Amy wasn't at the party too long last night. I'm pretty sure she wanted to scream the whole time she was there, the way she's talked about it. It ended up being in a gargantuan house out in Bum Fuck Egypt (Medina) where there were a bunch of soccer mom women talking about children, crafting and cooking. Very few of these ladies worked outside of the home. To me, it sounded like some sort of time warp. Conservatism tends to do that, I suppose. I am personally strongly against the idea of a permanent stay-at-home mom for several reasons.
I should clarify this because I know there's a chance that several stay-at-home moms might find their way here. For one, I'm against traditional roles of father-mother labor divisions because it cheapens the experience of each. I may say it differently when the time comes (though admittedly my change of heart would be for selfish reasons) but I would feel left out if I didn't have to clean diapers, cook food, clean house etc for our children. I'm against permanent stay-at-home momage too. I don't dispute the advantages of, early in a child's life, having a parent stay at home. I don't think that it should automatically be the mother (which is the disappointing default I see so often), but rather whatever situation is convenient and economic. If I'm making less than Amy when we have a kid, damn straight I'm going to take a sabbatical to get this kid going.
I'm also against permanent stay-at-home momage because these moms are too busy to keep their intellect going. I don't dispute that the work they do is as important and rewarding as anything they could do in the outside workplace. I just think that they have to be very careful to keep their mind going in other ways. It would be a personal hell to me to have the only conversation I could talk about (like the women Amy was stuck with last night) be involving things like crafting and cooking. If I did the stay-at-home thing, I'd be reading every time the kid slept or napped, and probably would end up writing a book or something too.
Anyway, back to the main story: Amy went to the party about 6:15. She was back home by 9:30, and Medina is about 45 minutes away. She wasn't there very long, and she said that she felt pretty out of place. I guess these women, for this "cooking club" got all dressed up and used fine china, etc... and then the conversation revolved around things that just didn't interest her. Amy was wearing a super-cute pair of jeans and a pink Blondie t-shirt, which didn't really measure up.
I worry for her because, as bored as I know she was (and that she said she was!), she said wants to keep participating to have a social outlet. ?!?!?!?!??!??!??!???!??! This move has been hard on her in terms of social networks, but I can't put my arms around the idea of spending time with people that bore you to death. It hasn't affected me as badly because I had burned most of my bridges in the last few months in Muncie, and most everyone I regularly talked to had moved anyway.
I've suggested that she talk to another couple (who seem more our style... young married quasi-punkrock types) in her church and see if we can hang out with them sometime. Maybe that will open doors. Also, Collette from the department has suggested that we hang with her and Rick, her husband. I think that either of these would be better social matches than a bunch of wealthy super-conservative crafting housewife hens.
A side note: the most fun Amy said she had during the party was people-watching (which is essentially treating people as entertainment instead of real people) and by dreaming things in her head to say that would totally shock them.
I think I'm going to cook lunch today. Our coffers are getting bleak for the month, so it's probably best that we eat-in for a while.
Posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood DJ on February 26, 2006 11:04 AM | Permalink
Share this entry:
