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I wrote a mass email announcing my move. As my mass emails go, it was lengthy and rambling. Here it is:
Hello to my friends of past and present.More on the move and the new place later on. I've got charcoal burning on our patio.
Akron, Ohio has been the self-proclaimed "Rubber Capital of the World" since the 1920s when major rubber companies located their operations there. You know they're serious about rubber in this town; neighborhoods are named Goodyear Heights and Firestone Park, and the University of Akron football team competes in the Rubber Bowl. The most popular tourist souvenir in this town is an ashtray shaped like a tire. What a fabulous tacky Christmas present this would make for my non-smoking relatives!
It was in Akron that two of the most important innovations of the 20th Century were realized. LeBron James, the most recent player annointed by the media to be a basketball Christ-figure the skill of which has been unseen since Michael Jordan, was born there in 1984. The other major Akron innovation occurred in 1935, when Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson founded Alcoholics Anonymous. It seems that Akron is currently more proud of LeBron than AA, as the city's welcome signs announce the former but not the latter.
The city has also been the home to my wife Amy and I since we located our operations here about 72 hours ago. We now call the same city our home as the Goodyear Blimp and the National Inventors Hall of Fame. I could start a rock act here called 'The Rubber Band,' but risk being burnt to the stake as a heretic for things other than my musical ability.
I suppose that I should now explain how we've come to call such a random place (and a generally anonymous city in terms of our national conciousness) our home. Beyond that, I suppose a general Andy update is in order.
Much of the past four or five years was a weird experience, as I imagine it was for many of us. I'll unsuccessfully liken it to a metaphor: my life was like a musical playlist that consisted of Ben Folds songs mixed with bleeding-heart country. When I wasn't looking at where I'd gone or where I was going with a blend of awe and confusion, I was getting smacked in the face with adversity. As soon as I had climbed the pile and sneered at everyone else, I got knocked on my ass by some lifetime event. For a while, my life could have been a new coming-of-age drama on the WB, sandwiched right between 7th Heaven and the Gilmore Girls... that is, if I was attractive and suburban. Fortunately, that's enough detail on that end so we'll leave it alone.
In May of 2003, I somehow graduated from Ball State in four years with a major in Geography, which was my seventh such academic concentration. I continued on to graduate school in my discipline, earning a masters degree in geography completed just this July. Early in grad school, I met Amy, who is my soul mate. We married just over a year ago, and my life hasn't been the same. With her arrival, I suddenly had motivation to work hard and accomplish things. Days pass like minutes when we're together.
With Amy's motivation and support, I accomplished many things in grad school. I finished my thesis, which explored the spatial relationships existent between tornadoes and mobile homes in the southeastern United States. It's available for your use as a sleep aid from Bracken Library. The Cliff's Notes? No relationship could be statistically substantiated. I fully revised a Geography of Indiana textbook, including text, graphics and design, which is going to press in November. I presented my thesis research at the national meeting of the Association of American Geographers in Denver in April, and got a very favorable response.
My works and decent grades earned me a new opportunity: admission to a PhD program in geography. Kent State University, in Kent, Ohio and just five miles from our new home in Akron, offered me a teaching assistantship so that I can earn my PhD in geography. I start my studies there in about three weeks. In three years or so, I will finish my dissertation and be Dr. Andrew Shears. I hope to become a professor of geography, so that I can teach and research. Academics is a pretty good gig, you know. Teach a little, which I love to do, and then research anything I want. Amy never knew she was going to marry a doctor!
Now, I face an odd dilemma, and that is living outside of the Muncie area. This is something I've been awaiting for... well, as long as I've been old enough to know that I could live other places. In Shawshank Redemption, the characters talked of institutionalization. An old prisoner named Brooks was institutionalized. When granted parole after 50 years, he didn't make it in the outside world, and ended up at the end of the noose. Red, on the other hand, adapted well after 40 years and ended up with his friend Andy Dufresne as Zihuatenejo. I greatly fear my own "Munstitutionalization." After almost 24 years in Muncie, including my formative years, I wonder if I'll make it. We're five hours away from our families. We don't know anyone who lives within a three hour radius. Before Brooks does himself in, he keeps thinking of ways to be sent back. Will this happen to me?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying" is the advice that Brooks and Red have offered me from the TV screen. Many have assured me that leaving Muncie is the best decision we'll ever make. Some have even said that we'll want our family to visit us so that we don't have to go back.
Other questions arise from moving that I've certainly never considered: Where did all these hills come from? There are such things as roads that actually curve? License plates on the front of the car? You can buy beer on Sunday? Where's the Marsh store?
Honestly, beyond some minor differences like these, life in Akron thus far isn't that much different. Instead of Mezzaluna, we go to Luigi's. Instead of Ivanhoe's, we go to Swenson's. Akron reminds me some of Fort Wayne, but it's much larger. Cleveland and Lake Erie is only 45 minutes away, Pittsburgh is 90 minutes, and Niagara Falls is five hours. Not a bad place to be. The scary neighborhoods in this town are also much scarier... until we drove around Akron, I'd never seen a used car lot both patrolled by Dobermans and surrounded with razor wire... during the day time. Some of the neighborhoods here make Gary look like Disney World, and Newark look like EPCOT Center.
Luckily, we've settled into the North Hill neighborhood, which is an older neighborhood but one that is well cared for. If you look at a map of northeast Ohio, look to the point right between Tallmadge and Cuyahoga Falls, that's where we live. We found a nice little 1920s two bedroom house with a den and a 2.5 car garage and a patio. We've never had a yard or a garage or anything but a tiny apartment, so we think this is an AMAZING setup. Anyone who receives this email is welcome to visit. Our landlord is a bike customizer who is very nice, but definitely more cool than we are. We feel like dorks when we go to his store to discuss house business.
We picked up a little VW Beetle about a month ago, which we've named Pedro. For many of you, this will seem like a blast from my past since I drove one in high school. This is true. My poor Oldsmobile was shot, and we needed a reliable efficient second car. This one fell into our laps. I like the Bugs because even a mechanical moron like myself can work on them. Last week, with the help of my uncle, I pulled the engine and replaced the clutch. Seems minor, but it saved us $600 bucks of labor that a mechanic would have charged.
Though we've only been in the Akron area for a matter of hours (many of which have been consumed with unpacking boxes), Amy's found a good job lead at Avenue, which is a women's clothes store chain she worked at for a while in Indianapolis. She's planning to work for the required year to get in-state tuition before she goes back to school. She's planning to work on a degree in zoology once that's squared away. She certainly has experience from keeping our zoo of two dogs, a cat, three rats, three parrots and a big aquarium. If you're scared of animals, a visit to our home is not advised.
Overall, despite the fears I have about moving and being so far away from anything familiar, I'm excited about the possibilities. We're definitely starting a new life here, from scratch. No one here remembers my embarrassing childhood events, which is a refreshing feeling. At the same time, we don't know our way around and may get lost a couple dozen times, something I've never done in Muncie. But then again, we get to explore the new things and learn the new local places. It should be a great deal of fun.
I must tell the members of my high school graduating class that I've enjoyed their e-mails over the past month. It's been great to hear from everyone and to know that everyone has successfully embarked on their path. It's certainly better than getting the normal "C_al_is ofFer for you!" or "HELLO SIR, THIS IS EDWARD MUGABE WITH A BUSINESS PROPOSITION" junk that I get in my box most days.
I apologize for appearing in your inbox and hope that you can forgive me for such a crime. My e-mails don't come often these days, but when they do, they're lengthy, impersonal and fairly boring. This one has certainly been no exception. If you don't want to hear from me anymore, I certainly understand; just drop me a line or send me some sort of hate mail to let me know, and this will be the last you get.
Call or write anytime, but try not to ask for money. We get enough calls and letters like that.
If you, for some reason, wish to keep better tabs on my life, you can use my Website: http://andy.theshears.com/ Yes, I know the name is illiterative, but the domain was available and catchy. The Web design is lame, but I have no one to blame but myself. Anyway, I've got some pictures there, though not terribly recent ones, and a blog that I use fairly regularly because of the general anonymity. My e-mailing abilities, given some social anxiety problems I've developed, are poor in a one-on-one sense. It's a constant fight for me to be social, but it's one I often lose. Don't take offense if it's a while before I respond to your e-mails.
I attached a picture of Amy and I at the Flying W Ranch in Colorado Springs last year. She's the one on the left.
All that being said, I hope this e-mail finds everyone well and happy.
Enjoy yourselves, and take care!
Andrew Shears
Posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood DJ on August 2, 2005 05:51 PM | Permalink
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