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If love does come in spurts, then my bloggin comes in waves. This is like the 12th time in the past four days that I've blogged. Weird. Other times, I'll go most of a month. Typically, I blog when I'm home alone, because when Amy's here I've obviously got other things to do.
Today, I gave a five-minute lesson for my orientation group. All the grad students were required to do this for our groups of about 20 people. My lesson applied explained environmental determinism and applied it to the more contemporary pop cultural phenomenon of grunge music. Grunge, which is generally depressing music, came from Seattle, which has depressing weather. An environmental determinist would argue that grunge is depressing because it originated in a depressing environment. Using this example, i then explained how the theory is not valid, and how it was used to support racism. The presentation went really well, I think. It got good comments from an education major girl who brought in graphic novels and explained their use in education, whom I think might be a neat person to talk to. I'm sure I never will.
I need to make friends and she seems interesting enough to be a candidate. This is something of which I am incapable. Social situations have to be so relaxed that it's not even funny, and that doesn't happen any more. I used to do better when I could smoke and open up... but I don't do that anymore. Tomorrow is some socializing breakfast thing. Maybe I'll find her and make friends? Though, a new female friend may send Amy through the roof...
Amy's been freaking out, because she's sure I'm going to find some girl and leave her. I don't know whether she's feeling inadequate since I'm starting a PhD and she hasn't finished college, or whatever. She shouldn't, because while education is important to me, it won't change who she is because to me she's already perfect. As far as I can tell, her fears are absolutely unfounded, because I can't see anything I've done to possibly make her think that. I love her with everything I have, I tell her that every chance I get and I just wish she'd see that.
This is also making more stress on my friend-making abilities. A large majority of my all-time friends have been female. Every time I mention a female friend, I think she feels threatened, but I generally associate better with women. How could I make friends if the people I most associate with were eliminated from consideration? I don't want anyone else in a romantic way, nor will I. Combine that stress with my limited social ability and my social anxiety, and I'm screwed.
Today, I gave a five-minute lesson for my orientation group. All the grad students were required to do this for our groups of about 20 people. My lesson applied explained environmental determinism and applied it to the more contemporary pop cultural phenomenon of grunge music. Grunge, which is generally depressing music, came from Seattle, which has depressing weather. An environmental determinist would argue that grunge is depressing because it originated in a depressing environment. Using this example, i then explained how the theory is not valid, and how it was used to support racism. The presentation went really well, I think. It got good comments from an education major girl who brought in graphic novels and explained their use in education, whom I think might be a neat person to talk to. I'm sure I never will.
I need to make friends and she seems interesting enough to be a candidate. This is something of which I am incapable. Social situations have to be so relaxed that it's not even funny, and that doesn't happen any more. I used to do better when I could smoke and open up... but I don't do that anymore. Tomorrow is some socializing breakfast thing. Maybe I'll find her and make friends? Though, a new female friend may send Amy through the roof...
Amy's been freaking out, because she's sure I'm going to find some girl and leave her. I don't know whether she's feeling inadequate since I'm starting a PhD and she hasn't finished college, or whatever. She shouldn't, because while education is important to me, it won't change who she is because to me she's already perfect. As far as I can tell, her fears are absolutely unfounded, because I can't see anything I've done to possibly make her think that. I love her with everything I have, I tell her that every chance I get and I just wish she'd see that.
This is also making more stress on my friend-making abilities. A large majority of my all-time friends have been female. Every time I mention a female friend, I think she feels threatened, but I generally associate better with women. How could I make friends if the people I most associate with were eliminated from consideration? I don't want anyone else in a romantic way, nor will I. Combine that stress with my limited social ability and my social anxiety, and I'm screwed.
Posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood DJ on August 25, 2005 05:53 PM | Permalink
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